"The Heart of Pastoral Care" from 1 Thessalonians 2:5-12

Introduction

As we know from last week’s study of the first chapter of this letter, the young church in Thessalonica had become known for their active faith, practical love and enduring hope. They, in a very short time, had become shining examples of light and grace-filled followers of Jesus. They cared for each other well, and provided a fine image for the church throughout Macedonia and beyond. Clearly they had been able to replicate the kind of committed love and concern that the apostle Paul and his colleague Silas had shown to them.

This style of pastoral care is first described in verses 7 and 8 of our reading, and then developed further in verses 11 and 12. A study of these verses will not only help us in our responsibilities to one another, but also help mothers and fathers in considering priorities in parenting.

Study of Verses 7 & 8

In sharing their faith with the people of Thessalonica, Paul and Silas had been “gentle” with them. This would mean that the community members were treated with respect; not bombarded with a list of their deficiencies, but honoured as human beings. Paul and Silas would have shown a willingness to listen to the people’s questions and perceive their needs, and then provide the best answers they could.

The degree of gentleness involved is described (and best translated) as “like a nurse caring for her own children”. So here we have the best qualities of a “nurse” providing professional medical care and knowledge … to her “own” child – displaying all the natural attributes and loving connectedness of a mother, with that sense of ultimate responsibility. This is to protect and to provide, without sparing any effort. Or, as G Campbell Morgan puts it, “… the merging of trained intelligent skill with natural mother-love … that is perfect care”.

Within Paul and Silas, there was a deep commitment to share with the Thessalonian community the good news of Jesus. But this would not only be done in word, but through a significant offering of relationship – they shared also “our own selves” (v.8). Paul and Silas let, indeed invited, people into the very depths of their own lives – this was a dynamic experience of sincere welcoming; and such a level of welcome would suggest, with our more stable environment, warm hospitality in our homes and within our families and social networks.

Study of Verses 11 & 12

Then in verse 11, the efforts of Paul and Silas are described in terms of the best image of fatherhood. There was “urging”, “encouraging” and “pleading”, all given no doubt in both word and example. To what end was this urgent encouragement aimed?? So that these Thessalonians would be fully able to experience the God that is calling them into relationship! God had a brilliant future ahead for these people, living their lives as followers of Jesus and missionaries of the early church. To miss that destiny would be a tragedy; so no wonder there was some “pleading” involved with so much at stake, and considering the love Paul had for them implanted in him by God.

So now to directly apply this text (especially verse 12) in terms of parenting (and in terms of the dedication promises we’ve heard today)! We can see the role of fathers and mothers in guiding their children from the earliest age into an understanding of a God that loves them – yes, in word, but ever more so in deed, by their example, their very activity, which especially revolves around their priorities … a display of what comes first and what is most important. Such priorities will be noticed and placed in the child’s memory box. Parents have to live and model the spiritual dimensions of life that they wish their children to later experience for themselves.

Parents have to work hard to develop a unified approach, good conflict resolution strategies and consistent responses to various behaviours. There also needs to be a determination to improve parenting skills and to learn from mistakes. There has to be a preparedness to make the hard and unpopular calls at times for the greater good.

This “pleading” that one would “lead a life worthy of God” (v.12) suggests providing the sort of boundaries that would not allow children or young people to stray into dangerous territories from which they may never be able to return. This is not to say that children should never be allowed to leave their room (so to speak), but rather be given safe spaces in which to find themselves and ultimately find Jesus.

Despite the ups and downs, and the stresses and traumas along the way, if the child is selflessly offered the quality of care and nurture that is implied in this Thessalonian passage, the child’s various responses, the level of learning and the ultimate outcome, are likely to be all the better.

Conclusion

Here are some words to help us to reflect on both Pastoral Care and Parenting:

(a) Respect – appreciating that every individual has worth, along with unique characteristics, needs and aspirations.
(b) Listening – the readiness to hear another, including the feelings behind the words.
(c) Love – the dynamic overflow of a deep concern for the welfare of others.
(d) Welcome – opening one’s heart and mind to the possibility of relationship with another.
(e) Hospitality – kindly embracing another into your personal and social environment.
(f) Encouragement – including warm comfort, practical support, positive reinforcement, appropriate motivation and gentle correction.
(g) Guidance – sharing the knowledge, ideas and experience that might not yet be available to one younger or less mature.
(h) Protection – providing boundaries for safety and within which wise decision-making can take place.