"Being Shepherded" - Parental advice from Psalm 23

(1) Parents are Shepherds

Parents should be very much shepherds of their children. Today we shall see how the psalm writer David sees God as his shepherd, which may give us some very helpful insights into Godly parenting. Then we can draw on a couple of new testament images of shepherding. This material is of course applicable to everyone, as we are all called to take an interest in the needs and aspirations of other people, and thus we all take on various shepherding roles in life. We shall hopefully also see that our shepherding is best undertaken relying on God’s availability to help, while directing those in our care toward the one who the Bible identifies as the “Good Shepherd”.

You might have heard the news item this week concerning the trend of parents employing life coaches for their children (even those as young as five). Whereas all parents need help in their parenting roles (and we have committed ourselves today to help Kurt & Jem wherever we can), this new trend with outside life coaches has the sniff of parents seeking to offload their ultimate responsibility for bringing up their own children (in the right way). A parent is already the natural life coach for their children.

Let’s see how the psalmist David saw God’s shepherding role in his life. David’s worldview was that as God had benevolently created the world and lovingly initiated humanity (God indeed knowing each human in their mother’s womb), then God would also be David’s best source of support, and offer him the best chance of surviving life. Actually as Psalm 23 proceeds you get the idea that, as he speaks the words, David even gains more confidence in God, and sees how one might even enjoy life and make the most of it!

In Israel 3,000 years ago, the context from which this psalm was drawn, the shepherd would live among the sheep, protecting them from all possible adversaries, especially through the darkness and danger of the night. The shepherd would use all his strength and stamina to provide for all of the flock’s needs. The shepherd would know his sheep intimately and individually. (Likely David would also have had personal experience to draw upon here – of the concern and compassion required in a shepherd.)

Without a shepherd, the sheep of the pasture would wander aimlessly and get lost and eventually perish – sense of direction is not a strong point with sheep. Or such sheep, without an effective shepherd, may just become a follower of the most dominant sheep, following them unthinkingly into all sorts of danger. Without the right shepherd figure in our lives, we could find ourselves latching onto inappropriate people and involving ourselves in unhelpful activities. Thus we can see how each child born certainly needs good shepherding.

(2) What Does a Shepherd Do?

The psalm itself gives us some insight into this question. The first verse reflects on everyday need in life. A shepherd seeks to provide everything that a sheep needs to survive, so that they will not lack anything that is important, and act in such a way that no barrier will restrict the best potential outcomes in their life. This is of course idealistic, and many parents will lack the resources so to do, however this is the necessary mindset, and from this level of commitment and responsibility other help can be sought.

Where wise shepherding is present, priority will be given to each child’s spiritual, social, educational and physical needs. Yet the greatest need the child will have (apart from the need to know God) will be that ongoing warm loving relationship with their parents themselves. Their parents will still be their parents if and when they have nothing else. In times when the challenges of life are great, the most important thing a son or daughter will need is not money, or assets, or status, but caring shepherd parents.

God as shepherd allows David his beloved child to “lie down in green pastures” (verse 2) indicating safety. The “shepherds” of ancient Israel would try to plan the movements of their flocks so that the sheep could rest in the best possible locations, eat well, and thereby flourish. Such shepherds would also seek to find the most ideal spot for their sheep to drink, where there was easy access with no discouraging ripples. To be led “beside still waters” suggests a peaceful living environment. How important it is for children to experience a safe and peace-promoting home environment!

Encouragement and positivity around a child “restores the soul”, providing a sense of acceptance, value and belonging. As David needed to be led, good guidance is what every child will look for and benefit from. This will involve parents being great listeners and interpreters and learners and resource discoverers. Sheep can be an easy prey for any adversary, so the shepherd will have to pay close attention; and because the shepherd is faithful, the sheep can overcome their fear (and begin to develop courage). Good shepherds will build confidence up in their children through constant support, and protect them by providing sound boundaries.

Discipline will be well considered, consistent, fair, and focussed on the child’s best interests. We should note that God’s rod and staff are metaphorically the shepherding tools of protection and comfort (not punishment). The implement translated “rod” was a short oaken club used against adversaries in the defence and protection of the sheep. The “staff” was a longer pole used for climbing or leaning on to walk (the forerunner of the modern walking stick), which could also be used for gently restraining or guiding the sheep.

Verse 5 poetically reflects the intimacy and care of the ultimate parent God. Shepherds would use some form of oil to help heal any wounds the sheep suffered along their journeys. Also, anointing with oil was the customary treatment of an honoured guest in an Ancient Eastern home. So this ‘anointing with oil’ is symbolic for God being able to provide for the healing of wounds, and the offering of Divine hospitality to welcome guests. Such activity should result in very pleasing outcomes, as the “cup” of a child’s life overflows gloriously.

As verse 6 indicates, such a person can grow into their youth and adulthood knowing that they are loved for who they are, and that when they stuff up they will experience mercy and forgiveness along with advice and support (“mercy” and “goodness”). They will become people who are happy to admit fault, say sorry, and where necessary change their ways. They will become people who experience and express the serene joy of a soul that has found peace of mind and heart.

(3) The “Good Shepherd”

Whereas this psalm brings a general analogy of God as “shepherd”, many of us know who has fulfilled this role most evidently in human history. The Son of God Jesus, whose coming we celebrate at Christmas, described himself as the “good shepherd”. And so every parent would do well to get to know Jesus themselves, and in turn introduce their children to Jesus. It will be the attitudes to life and the priorities that Jesus displayed and practiced in his earthly life that will give great insight and stimulus to our shepherding and parenting of others. In John’s Gospel chapter 10 verse 16 we read Jesus say,

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep.”

Jesus loves us and invites us into a relationship with him. When sin became a barrier to such a relationship, Jesus himself brought the possibility of forgiveness through his own death on a cross. Jesus wants to companion us on our journey of life, and help us in all our life challenges and human inter-relationships. We can come to that point where we can say: ‘The Lord Jesus is my Shepherd – there is nothing else I can possibly want that comes anywhere close to this!’

In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus tells a story involving a shepherd and some sheep to demonstrate how much God loves people no matter who they are (15:1-7); where even though the shepherd had to leave behind 99 other sheep to do so, when one sheep inadvertently went astray the shepherd spared no effort to locate it. Jesus will carry such a sheep on his shoulders, bringing that sheep within the “house of the Lord” (meaning within the intimacy of God’s constant presence), as a valued family member, and as one who belongs in “God’s house” just as much as Jesus himself does.

As we follow the “Good Shepherd” in this church community, we will be able to work together toward being effective ‘under-shepherds’, parental role-models, and pastoral carers of one another and the community in general.